How do we teach students how to Overcome Obstacles?
What tools are teens given as the embark daily through their own personal obstacle course?
Middle School and High school is full of challenges for our teens. They are met every day with obstacles - friend relationships, schoolwork, sports, social media and family, yes…us too.
Who is giving these kids guidance with this? How are they being taught to overcome these hurdles? What tools are teens given as the embark daily through their own personal obstacle course?
A parents support is the most important thing to a child.
They need teachers support and guidance too.
When our kids were younger, we made sure they had the right tools for certain activities. If they were going biking – they had to have their helmet. Learning how to skateboard – knee and elbow pads. The indoor trampoline gyms – sticky socks so they don’t slip. What tools are we giving them for life as a teen? As parents, we do the best we can to teach our kids how to survive their own personal teen obstacle course, but we need help. We need help from the teachers.
Teachers live in what I like to call a SEL Lab, Social and Emotional Lab. Who is giving them the tools to teach their students how to overcome these emotional hurdles? How do they even begin to teach this in the midst of their academic subject? Group initiatives. What class doesn’t have a group initiative in the beginning of the school year? Why is it only at the beginning of the year? There is so much that can be taught and moments to be shared when a group works on a project together. Before a teacher gives a group a project, a bit of front loading is important. we recommend sharing a story or an event in your life where you wanted to do something and encountered an obstacle.
Overcoming Obstacles
Persist with creativity and available resources to find a way over, around or through any barrier that blocks your way.
We are told as kids, “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again”. Of course, that is true when it is a tangible project like making cookies or learning to dunk a basketball. But how do you handle an obstacle in a group project that is say, your friend who isn’t participating or maybe there is one person doing all the work and not letting the others jump in? It takes leadership to be able to step up and say something. Maybe you can share a story along these lines to help give your students ideas and tools to succeed before they even start. Explain the goal, what exactly stood in your way and how did you get through it? When you share a story, it shows courage which in turn creates emotional safety with your students. Students clearly learn better when they feel emotionally safe. It’s also important to validate when a student takes a risk and shows the courage to share one of their stories. This has a ripple affect like a pebble in a pond. It makes other students feel safe and willing to share their experiences.
We are led to believe obstacles are negative. Are they? Can an obstacle be positive? Picture two teenage girls. They have been best friends for over 3 years. They get into a bit of a “riff”. Don’t speak for a few days. Co-existing becomes a huge obstacle that they are forced to deal with. They choose to talk it through and with that they had to say the unpopular thing. It was scary. Was their friendship going to be over because they said what they really felt? No, it became stronger. They now have a better understanding of each other. They are accepting of what was different between them and have a stronger friendship than ever. This was a positive outcome of overcoming an obstacle.
Have the courage to talk things out,
you will be surprised!
How does this help with that group project I mentioned earlier? Don’t let the obstacle create negative thoughts or vibes. If teachers notice a group going down a bumpy road, they need to teach their students how to persist with creativity towards the goal they are trying to accomplish. They need to give them resources to find a way over, around or through any barrier that is blocking their final goal. Over time this guidance will help students overcome challenges outside the classroom as well.
Thinking about what we may not be good at can help us be better leaders. We all have obstacles we struggle with, and by recognizing them and working on them we can become better leaders. When we find ourselves in that group meeting or a group project there will be a moment when we struggle with leadership. We get tired, fed up or angry instead of being able to step back we often create what I like to call a leadership obstacle. What are a few examples of this?
Maybe you don’t trust someone to get their part finished on time (controlling). Or maybe you don’t acknowledge the problem at hand (turn a blind eye). Or are you the quiet member that holds back from sharing any ideas. Whatever the obstacle it’s important to recognize the emotion that is behind it. “I’m not going to share my idea because I am afraid of failure.” “I’m angry that about not being chosen to work on a certain part so I’m going to look the other way and not help fix the problems I see.” Once we recognize the emotion behind the leadership obstacle we can step back and support those that may be scared to speak up. We can emphasize the positive when someone works to fix a persistent problem. By doing this we aren’t just teaching our students how to overcome these obstacles. We are giving them the tools to be good leaders, to learn when to step up and speak and when to step back and let others have a chance. We are building healthy relationships when we show our students how to emphasize the positive. This will carry out of the classroom and into the hallways.
Join the Community has 56 different tools and over 100 lesson plans that can help teens navigate through their daily obstacle course. It takes time, but even if it’s just 10 minutes a class isn’t it worth giving them the gear, they need to safety make it through life’s obstacle course?